A New Day ~

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It’s been a tough time since the 2016 election. For almost everyone. In various ways. 

For the first few months, along with so many others, I grieved. For a loss. For what might have been. But most of all, for what I knew wasn’t to be for our country. And then in January I decided to do what I’ve always done when hit with an adverse situation. I stood up. And I spoke out. Beginning with the Women’s March on January 21. I joined a local Indivisible group. I protested. I marched. I made numerous phone calls to Congress. I wrote postcards. And I went out of my way to be with like-minded people. During the entire campaign, I distanced myself from those who were not. Both in my social life and on social media. I was too fragile. I’m not a confrontational person. But I also cannot stand quietly by when what I’m hearing or reading is simply not the truth.

Sometimes I felt like what I was doing helped.  Maybe. But day after day a new fire would break out with trump. Be it immigration, gays, Muslims…….you know the list. And through all of it, if I was at home MSNBC was on the TV giving me all the updates. I did take breaks from the coverage. With Netflix, Amazon Prime, etc. I’ve always believed in balance in my life.  I’ve always gone out of my way to make this balance happen.  However, recently I discovered that not only did I not have balance, but that I was lost as the person I know I am.

A few things happened simultaneously to make me realize this.  I’d wake every morning with a lack of enthusiasm. Sure, I went through my day and even did some fun things. But I began to feel I was faking it. Smiling, because I should. Joking, because it seemed the right thing to do.  Not just for me. But for those around me. Both in person and on Facebook. But it suddenly hit me that I was a fake. What happened to that authentic person I’d worked so hard all my life to make a reality? And I traced it all back to the morning of November 9. 

Sadly, I discovered I was no longer the happy, positive, upbeat person I had always been.  Not since the morning after the election. Rather than feeling positive emotions day after day, I found that I was either angry, sad, worried, uncertain. I realized I had become short-tempered. I found myself yelling at other drivers under my breath.  I had become snappy with people who rubbed me the wrong way, especially strangers. This was not the person I had spent 70 years evolving into. That person was gone. Replaced by somebody, who very recently, I didn’t like at all. 

In addition to all of this, I knew in my subconscious that what I put out into the Universe is what I would get back. And what I was putting out wasn’t very good. For me or for those around me.

And during the above speculation, Hillary’s new book, What Happened, arrived.  I had pre-ordered it and began reading it immediately. Yes, it’s bittersweet. But it’s also soothing, humorous, and comforting. Another thing I’ve always firmly believed (because it’s happened to me too many times not to) is that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. 

So through a combination of all of the above, I realized it was time for a change. A new day so to speak. Nora Ephron’s quote completely resonated with me! I had allowed myself to be a victim. No, not intentionally.  But day by day, “I” allowed the anger to remain, seep out and rob me of my happiness. By the time I was age 25 I had learned a valuable life lesson……….happiness comes from within. Nobody can give it to you. They can enhance it, yes. But we all make our own happiness. I had allowed the election, trump, etc. etc. etc. to take MY happiness! I had been sucked right into what I had never thought possible. But I was proof that it was. 

And so……how to make that new day happen? Well, the realization of all of this hit me almost instantaneously but the answers came just as fast. At first I wasn’t sure if I wanted to delete my Facebook account and distance myself from political stuff on there. However, I knew I’d miss all the good stuff FB offers………photos of your children, grandchildren, your cats, dogs, joys and sadness. So I quickly abandoned that idea. (And a huge thank you to all of you who quickly commented and asked me not to do that) The only “friends” I now have on Facebook are people who I want. The rest I deleted last year. But there’s still a fair amount of informative posts that are political……..I have certainly contributed my fair share. Not negative, no. But articles, opinions, etc. And while I always felt good about whatever I posted because I was doing it to inform, cause awareness, etc. I will no longer be doing that.  I can’t. For me. (And for those of you who continue these political posts, please don’t take it personally that I will no longer be commenting.)  Music has replaced MSNBC during the day in my house now. I will only watch Rachel Maddow at 9 PM because I DO still want to be informed and aware. Just not constantly bombarded. I am taking a step back from politics and the groups I had joined. Not because I feel they aren’t great or doing great things! But because I must do what’s best for ME.  

I will smile more. Laugh more. Knit more.  Read fiction more. L I V E more! Because I can now see that during these past eleven months, I was not living. I was merely existing. Exactly what the outcome of that election hoped to achieve! But I refuse to be a victim. I will slowly struggle to recapture that strong, positive, upbeat woman who lived before November 9……………and I hope you will too! Because I love all of you and love really IS what it’s all about! 

See you here next time………..

 

12 thoughts on “A New Day ~

  1. Thanks! I feel the same way. I am obsessed with politics and listen to way too much MSNBC. I have cut back because it makes me unable to sleep. I quit posting my Moms posts because I got such flack from people who feel differently than I do. These are people I want to continue to have in my life, like my son’s mother in law. So I realized I wasn’t going to change anymore and only post pictures of family. I might slip in an opinion piece from time to time.
    I’m glad you’re staying on Facebook because I would miss you. It’s strange but I feel like I know you and we’re good friends. Of course we are, but I mean real life, not virtual!!!!!
    Talk to you later.
    Your friend
    Beverly Dixon

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much! Exactly. Others are not going to change. So then its up to us to make the choice. To either stay in their life or not. And we all have to do what’s best for us. We may not have met in person, but I feel the same! We are good friends and thank you for your friendship. xoxox

      Like

  2. I left a long comment and hadn’t signed in. So, poof. It’s gone.
    Basically I feel as you, watching too much news, decided to not share my activism on Facebook.
    I still feel the same but having to step back.
    I’m glad you’re still going to be on Facebook. I would miss you. I feel you are a real life friend and not a virtual one. So, I’ll talk to you later!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Terri, unfortunately some of us as you found out cannot change the outcome of November but when there is an election we can make sure we vote and vote for the people that object to what the presidency has become. I mute any news about Mr. Trump because he was making me negative as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You understand yourself much better than most humans. In addition , you makes changes when you know you should. You tell us as only a superb writer could. I am impressed—again. Thanks.

    Bill

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We seem to be in the same boat. I, too, am making changes. I have had this blogsite since 2010. I am now using it! Blog time cuts into Facebook time. That is a good thing. I have many friends on Facebook from all parts of my life. I treasure them. I love the knitting groups (most of the time) but I have let the politics get too heavy. I deleted most of my news sites. I am going to scroll past some posts. I am involved in two local groups. Will stay with them. I no longer check in on all the news sites when I get home from work. I was sitting at my local coffee house Monday. CNN is on, and all they are talking about is football and taking a knee. There is a hurricane in Puerto Rico, there are all kinds of other serious things going on and this is what they choose to talk about-endlessly? Yes, I see the importance of it. I applaud the players that stood by their convictions and took a knee. Do I need to see it endlessly? No! So…I, too am stepping back a bit. Partly for mental health reasons, and partly to get a balance back. I applaud you! This is so long, it ought to be on my blog. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I started getting my grove back about four months ago. I don’t watch or even listen to Trumpy anymore. One day it just hit me that I can’t change a thing, except for myself, most of my friends are now the same way. Occasionally we talk about one of his crazy ass rants but now laughing at him instead of letting him get to us. Knitting, reading and good friends help, as does spending time with my kids and getting outside with my camera. I’m
    Happy again . Life is a challenge all on its own and it grows shorter each day so we have to be happy and enjoy the good times and the good gifts that we have. I’m happy to still be on your page and so happy your not going to get lost in Trumpy land anymore. Have a great weekend Terri. XO

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: Like attracts Like | Arriving Full Circle ~

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